#3

well heres what is going on with me and my baby... i thankyou all for your prayers and concerns..... We thought on my first visit i was around 9 or 10 weeks because of my "time of the month is never on schedule or normal" (that was on a tuesday) and when i went to have an Ultrasound on thursday the ultrasound tech had stated "my sac was empty" and i had blood around my uterus.... which was not a good sign... and i may be having a miscarriage and my body hasnt gotten rid of it yet.... (in my opinion she gave me no hope she was pretty grouchy like this happens all the time.. and i needed to accept it...) then i went in and saw the doctor and same story... atleast she said that it could be 1 of 2 things... miscarriage (which if it was i would have to schedule a DNC or a DNE if my body doesnt do it naturally) or i was just way to early like 4 or 5 weeks to even detect a fetal heartbeat and only bloodwork would help determine how far along i was and IF i was still pregnant.... So when i got home.. i cried... even though i didnt know this little person inside my body it still hurt that i could possibly loose it.... I know what they say "dont tell people until you are 12 weeks and in the clear" but im not one for "luck" i believe that the more people i get to pray for me the better the chances... so thats why i tell when i first find out! So people can think happy thoughts and pray for me and baby! So on tuesday and thursday i got bloodwork done on both those days i would have to wait until Monday for the results... (can you imagine that.. all weekend to wait) ughh! so monday came and the doctor called me... she told me that my tuesday results were over 5000 (is that good im not sure) and then my thursday results were almost 9000 which was good for only being a matter of 2 days... so yesterday they called me in for more bloodwork and they hope it will be higher... so thats my story.. i will update when i get my results... so far they are saying i am about 5-6 weeks which will put my due date around Nov. 6th... keep praying for me and my little baby! <3

My Boys

Benjamin John
My first born
my first baby
I love you <3
as i hold u in bed as we snuggle i look at you. I look at how perfect God made you.... Your hair dark, just like daddy's your eyebrows just like mommy's your eyes so soft, your lashes so dark and long, ones that people dream for, your little body so wam against mine, your arms hugged tight around my neck, You are perfect my little boy. I love your heart! At times it can be 2 years old but i know the real one! Soft, gentle, so full of love! I love how much you love me, your daddy and your brother! I Love you more then you will ever know! You are my first born! My first baby boy! You are my world! <3



Jayson Theodore
My Second born
my little baby
I love you too! <3
Your soft blonde hair, your eyes that change colors from blue to green to gray. Your pale white skin, your smile i LOVE to make you smile! It will brighten up my day! Your tiny chubby hands just like mine, your chubby little thighs, your teeny tiny piggy toes that i love to bite and make you giggle, your laugh... oh your laugh can get me going! Jayson God also made you so perfect! I love your heart! I love you! You are my second born! My second baby! You are my world! <3

A Fresh start

I'm not one to celebrate lent... so this has NOTHING to do with Lent... its just a decision i made with God and for my children....

Lately i have been consuming my time with "other things" (cleaning, my self pitty, worrying about the small things, facebook, pinterest, and other things) and not giving my children enough of my "free time". So starting today.... i am going to sign on at only 2 times a day.. once in the A.M. to "catch up" and at night after the kids are sleeping and my hubby and I are relaxing.... This reason isnt because of "how much i hate facebook" or anything like that... actually i LOVE facebook i love hearing the drama i love seeing whats going on in peoples lives... which has led me to neglect my life.... So.... I feel my children need me to get down to their level and be with them... as many times as i "sit down" during the day just to check up.. i will be kneeling down instead to draw a spaceship, to fly around like a superhero, to hug, to snug, for kisses , and toy time! The reason i am doing this is because i feel like i dont do it enough... i need more QUALITY time with my kids... yes you think that being a stay at home mom i have all the time in the world to have quality time with my kids... but i dont.. i consume my days with cleaning and other things... also i feel like this may help with Benny... ;lately he has been so bad... and maybe this will change him! So... if you need me throughout the day feel free to text me.. and if i dont answer right away.. its because i am with my babies... they are my world! they are my everything! So i will continue to make them my all! my every moment... because it does go fast... they will be teenagers before i know it and i will be sad i wasted my time on Facebook instead of doing things with them! So... for now... lets see if i can do this... i know i can because i love my children... yes i may slip up because i am human... but dont hate on me because of it... cause no one is perfect! i just may have and "extra min" while the boys are sleeping... and i have done everything! So starting now my world is my kids and Husband... and i am happy with that!

Siblings......

I would have to say that life with 2 children isnt as hard as i thought it would be or as hard as people said it would be... to me it is actually easy! Dont get me wrong are there days where i am dragging and can not wait for the day to be over to lay in my bed.. yes! but who doesnt! Having Jayson in our lives has been pretty great these past 4 months! He is an awesome baby! He is so happy (except for when he is tired and is fighting to go to sleep!) Who would of thought.. i would have a blonde hair blue eyed baby!? I get the best of both worlds! Benny has adjusted great to him as well! He loves his brother and loves to touch and kiss him and tell him how cute he is and it is so cute to hear him talk in a high pitch voice to him (just like we all do) and when Jayson is crying all i have to say is.. "Bennny go make your brother laugh" and he will and Jayson will laugh hard at him! I am so excited for them to grow up and be best friends! (hopefully) I pray they will always be there for eachother and to back eachother up whenever one of them needs help and just to be a buddy on a boring afternoon! I know for me my sister and I didnt always get along when we were young but we always had someone to play with when no one was around... and those are times in my childhood i cherish the most! I dont know if it is the same for brothers... i never had a brother (well i do but not close in age what so ever or even someone i would call a real brother) or brothers to see what they are like.. Ben on the other hand had a brother and the stories he tells me about when him and Kenny were little how much fun they had climbing trees all day playing in the woods, getting dirty, going home for lunch then back out again on an all day adventure.... I hope my boys are like that! and i hope my boys love eachother and need eachother in their lives like my sister and I and ben and his brother do! I think a sibling is a very important person for a child to have in life... i couldnt imagine my life without one... and i feel sorry for people who can have more kids to give their child another sibling! and yes i am going to say this now... I CANT WAIT TO HAVE MORE BABIES! I CANT WAIT TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!! lol! Ben and I have had the discussion on "how many" we will have and we have decided 3-4 kids total! I want 4 he wants 3... the thought to think that my next baby will be my last is not acceptable in my book i am ok with 2 more though.. if not more! I always wanted ALOT of kids! Even though int the begining of my pregnancies i am so horribly sick and i carry my babies and by the 9th month i am so big i can barely move and then give birth to babies over 9 pounds! Hey i am ok with it! I am excited to see what my 3rd and 4th will look like.. will they be big? if i have a girl... will she be tiny? big? who knows! God already has a plan for me.. so all this wondering is already set in my book be4 i know! I am so thankful i can give my children forever friends and love! So if your waiting for me to say "i am pregnant" you may have to wait a bit longer... we "plan" to get started on #3 when Jayson is about a year and a half/..... but we will see what other "plans" God has for us! But for now... our journey is fun with 2 babies! 2 boys! i <3 my babies! and i say my babies cause no matter how old they get they will ALWAYS be my babies even at 21! I will always stop in my footsteps to give a kiss to play cars to give a little hug for my babies! Life is GREAT.... wait not great... life is PERFECT!

Now and then, or then and now!?

On Sat i will be 27! Where did the time go? is this where i thought i would be when i turned 27 when i was 19? I think so... did i ever think i would get there... no... but i did! Together me and my husband have been through our whole 20's together and shared so many tears, so many laughs, so many great times together! and i cant wait to spend the rest of our years alive together to do the same!
Then:
slept till 11
worked double shifts to make money
spent money on clothes shoes makeup, nails, hair.. sometimes i would go get my hair washed and blowdryed out "just because" i could
partied alllllll night
life was about me and my "boyfriend" and how much fun we could have
did wash if i fet like it.. if i didnt have anthing to wear i would buy a "new outfit" for the night and then some
the only responisbilty i had was paying my car and car insurance (which i didnt even do) lol

Sometimes i think about my past and i think how much fun it was... and if i could do it one more time... then i look into both my babies eyes and realize i never want to do that again! I love my life now!

Married to the man of my dreams (who gives me all i want and more!)
sleeping in till 8 am with both babies in my arms! (by 11 we are planning nap time!)
an all nighter consists of a sick child holding for dear life and praying God gives it to me instead of my child!
My job is staying home taking care of the babies and the house (i work more then double shifts.. my shift doesnt end)
money goes to the kids and the house and groceries. maybe once in a while ill buy a 5$ shirt from Walmart!
life is about my family!
the only partying i do is birthday parties and purse parties
wash is mondays and tuesdays!
and i have more responsiblity then i have ever had!

This isnt me complaining about "life" because i LOVE my life now! and iwouldnt trade it for the world! i would take dirty diapers and crying babies over a night of drinking any day! God has blessed me so much these past 27 years!
Thankyou God i wouldnt have it with out your hand in my life guiding me the "right way" I am sorry i have slipped away .. but i came back and i am glad i did!

Itchy itchy! (Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy)

Not only am i itchy to meet my new little boy... but my skin is paying for it as well!!
When i had Benny about a week or so after i broke out in a rash across my belly that not only itched like heck but when i itched it, it burned.... I looked all over the internet, talked to doctors, and even saw a dermitoligist... no one had an answer.... they just said.. "oh you must of gotten poison ivy from somewhere.... Nowi know myself... i do not break out from poison ivy this way... sometimes a little here and there but nothing this bad... and for it to be on my belly...(now growing on to my boobs and thighs) i would have had to been rolling around in it... }=/ so not the case..... Because i was not only up all night with a newborn nursing, but itching as well... i came across a small comment on google that a lady had put up... and from there it gave me all the answers!

*Small red bumps growing in or on stretch marks
*red burning
*irritating
*can not stop itching
*feels like you can rip your skin off

This lady had said she had tried all the ointments and nothing worked... but the only thing that had worked was nasty stinky old "Grandfathers Pine tar soap" and trust me it does not smell pretty but it does the trick.... and by this point you dont care what you smell like... as long as you arent itching anymore!
So i gave it a try and after weeks of itching it started to clear up in a matter of a couple days and i found myself getting less showers a day (cause i would get up to 3 oatmeal baths a day and 3 showers a day!) (NO LIE!!)
So the reason i am writing about this now... is because it has started again... they say it only happens one time but there are cases where it does come into the second and 3rd pregnancies... but it is more common when pregnant or when you had a boy...(something in the male hormone) So yes it has started again.... it was getting bad and everytime i went to the market i would forget to get my pine tar soap..... i used Benadryl for the time being but i felt like that just sugar coated it and when it would start to itch again it would be worse! SO 3 days ago i finally remembered it! Let me tell you... it has already started to clear up! i stink like an old man yes.... but i feel better!!!! I highly reccomend this to people suffering from PUPPP (that is what it is called) short for Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy... (you can also use it to clear up acne (which it has on my shoulders and back already) poison ivy, and bad bug bites)
It is real ladies.... and annoying and i wish someone would of helped me when i was in desperate need!
So Pine Tar soap it is until it is gone!!!! hope it leaves sooner then later! I already will have alot to do as a new mommy again but this time with a 2 year old.. i dont need something else making me uncomfortable!

I am 2!

He is 2....some how some way i have a toddler... where the time went i have no idea!

I am into everything.... but in my eyes i am just exploring:



I am into cars, trucks, and anything that goes "RRROOOAARRR"



I love to play outside in my yard, at the beach or even at the park but my favorite part is when i can just relax and have a nice cold snack in my outside chair!





Most of all i love my mommy and daddy, Together we are one happy family and we cant wait to meet my little brother in October (or sooner) to make us complete!








I am 2.. and life couldnt be any better!