My Boys

Benjamin John
My first born
my first baby
I love you <3
as i hold u in bed as we snuggle i look at you. I look at how perfect God made you.... Your hair dark, just like daddy's your eyebrows just like mommy's your eyes so soft, your lashes so dark and long, ones that people dream for, your little body so wam against mine, your arms hugged tight around my neck, You are perfect my little boy. I love your heart! At times it can be 2 years old but i know the real one! Soft, gentle, so full of love! I love how much you love me, your daddy and your brother! I Love you more then you will ever know! You are my first born! My first baby boy! You are my world! <3



Jayson Theodore
My Second born
my little baby
I love you too! <3
Your soft blonde hair, your eyes that change colors from blue to green to gray. Your pale white skin, your smile i LOVE to make you smile! It will brighten up my day! Your tiny chubby hands just like mine, your chubby little thighs, your teeny tiny piggy toes that i love to bite and make you giggle, your laugh... oh your laugh can get me going! Jayson God also made you so perfect! I love your heart! I love you! You are my second born! My second baby! You are my world! <3

A Fresh start

I'm not one to celebrate lent... so this has NOTHING to do with Lent... its just a decision i made with God and for my children....

Lately i have been consuming my time with "other things" (cleaning, my self pitty, worrying about the small things, facebook, pinterest, and other things) and not giving my children enough of my "free time". So starting today.... i am going to sign on at only 2 times a day.. once in the A.M. to "catch up" and at night after the kids are sleeping and my hubby and I are relaxing.... This reason isnt because of "how much i hate facebook" or anything like that... actually i LOVE facebook i love hearing the drama i love seeing whats going on in peoples lives... which has led me to neglect my life.... So.... I feel my children need me to get down to their level and be with them... as many times as i "sit down" during the day just to check up.. i will be kneeling down instead to draw a spaceship, to fly around like a superhero, to hug, to snug, for kisses , and toy time! The reason i am doing this is because i feel like i dont do it enough... i need more QUALITY time with my kids... yes you think that being a stay at home mom i have all the time in the world to have quality time with my kids... but i dont.. i consume my days with cleaning and other things... also i feel like this may help with Benny... ;lately he has been so bad... and maybe this will change him! So... if you need me throughout the day feel free to text me.. and if i dont answer right away.. its because i am with my babies... they are my world! they are my everything! So i will continue to make them my all! my every moment... because it does go fast... they will be teenagers before i know it and i will be sad i wasted my time on Facebook instead of doing things with them! So... for now... lets see if i can do this... i know i can because i love my children... yes i may slip up because i am human... but dont hate on me because of it... cause no one is perfect! i just may have and "extra min" while the boys are sleeping... and i have done everything! So starting now my world is my kids and Husband... and i am happy with that!

Siblings......

I would have to say that life with 2 children isnt as hard as i thought it would be or as hard as people said it would be... to me it is actually easy! Dont get me wrong are there days where i am dragging and can not wait for the day to be over to lay in my bed.. yes! but who doesnt! Having Jayson in our lives has been pretty great these past 4 months! He is an awesome baby! He is so happy (except for when he is tired and is fighting to go to sleep!) Who would of thought.. i would have a blonde hair blue eyed baby!? I get the best of both worlds! Benny has adjusted great to him as well! He loves his brother and loves to touch and kiss him and tell him how cute he is and it is so cute to hear him talk in a high pitch voice to him (just like we all do) and when Jayson is crying all i have to say is.. "Bennny go make your brother laugh" and he will and Jayson will laugh hard at him! I am so excited for them to grow up and be best friends! (hopefully) I pray they will always be there for eachother and to back eachother up whenever one of them needs help and just to be a buddy on a boring afternoon! I know for me my sister and I didnt always get along when we were young but we always had someone to play with when no one was around... and those are times in my childhood i cherish the most! I dont know if it is the same for brothers... i never had a brother (well i do but not close in age what so ever or even someone i would call a real brother) or brothers to see what they are like.. Ben on the other hand had a brother and the stories he tells me about when him and Kenny were little how much fun they had climbing trees all day playing in the woods, getting dirty, going home for lunch then back out again on an all day adventure.... I hope my boys are like that! and i hope my boys love eachother and need eachother in their lives like my sister and I and ben and his brother do! I think a sibling is a very important person for a child to have in life... i couldnt imagine my life without one... and i feel sorry for people who can have more kids to give their child another sibling! and yes i am going to say this now... I CANT WAIT TO HAVE MORE BABIES! I CANT WAIT TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN!!!! lol! Ben and I have had the discussion on "how many" we will have and we have decided 3-4 kids total! I want 4 he wants 3... the thought to think that my next baby will be my last is not acceptable in my book i am ok with 2 more though.. if not more! I always wanted ALOT of kids! Even though int the begining of my pregnancies i am so horribly sick and i carry my babies and by the 9th month i am so big i can barely move and then give birth to babies over 9 pounds! Hey i am ok with it! I am excited to see what my 3rd and 4th will look like.. will they be big? if i have a girl... will she be tiny? big? who knows! God already has a plan for me.. so all this wondering is already set in my book be4 i know! I am so thankful i can give my children forever friends and love! So if your waiting for me to say "i am pregnant" you may have to wait a bit longer... we "plan" to get started on #3 when Jayson is about a year and a half/..... but we will see what other "plans" God has for us! But for now... our journey is fun with 2 babies! 2 boys! i <3 my babies! and i say my babies cause no matter how old they get they will ALWAYS be my babies even at 21! I will always stop in my footsteps to give a kiss to play cars to give a little hug for my babies! Life is GREAT.... wait not great... life is PERFECT!